Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
