gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Say something about gay babies.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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