Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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