return my video game
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
