Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
