That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
