i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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