yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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