you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
