Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Dignity is for republicans.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
