i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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