Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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