Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
