What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I cockslap morals
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
