Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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