Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
