Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
