Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
