Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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