My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
