Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she peed on how many people?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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