the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
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I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
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I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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