If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
