Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's never too late to be topless.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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