Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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