We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
