A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
