Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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