Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
