Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
