Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
