babies were throwing up all over the place
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
