Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
