Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
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my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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