soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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