So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You can't just leave with hair like that
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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