my vag is so smooth its legendary
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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