at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize