Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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