Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
