Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
