At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
