I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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