I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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