Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
