it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
