david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
