Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
