puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
