fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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