I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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