Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
