I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
