I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
