Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My breath smells like gin and sadness
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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