help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
