dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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