It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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