Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
