i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
